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Author Topic: Movie Reviews  (Read 40789 times)

Offline Porphyria

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #105 on: April 10, 2011, 05:21:15 AM »
Just got back from watching "Your Highness." 

It was fricken hilarious.  Almost as if it started life as a cheeky porno.  Any movie with a minotaur penis is worth watching once.   :comegetsome:

I heard it was good from someone else too :)

Offline Rick Gentle

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #106 on: April 10, 2011, 06:17:02 AM »
This minotaur penis must be very popular... >.>

And this in the wake of Porphyria's entirely-too-enthustiastic exclamation about "The Blowjobs of Bloodlines!". *coughagain*
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Offline El_Gostro

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #107 on: April 10, 2011, 10:37:21 AM »
So finallyes wasables to almost fully watch a Harry POtter flick,when added assurance that a lot of people died in this adorable consolation trip for nerdie foureyes n sexually insecure school girls.

Anyhos the movie was brilliant,n revealed itself bein situated in the D&D campaigns verses as all magic users be seemins ta require high INT scores but dramatically lacking WIS points or common common sense.

Oooohs what to say,where to begin!

"The trace":
Considerin the queen subjects seem mostly ok with cameras filming every time they release gases into the atmosphere or emergency empty their bladders this shouldnt be much of an issue..except you're a teenager with inevitable urges to engage in,among other things,masturbation.

Tragedy:
Didnt see the guyser with the ridicolous eye patch bite it :(



"Hey! let s risk our lives to move this guy acting as decoys since the forces of unspeakable dark ancient evil of wizard society are looking for him specifically and take him to a safe and sccret location where we will conduct a wedding where every important person in wizard society will beinvited and know about the fact that we have the chosen one here and therefore expose ourselves...brilliant!"

"My wand cannot kill him because bla blah,and since using any other wand does not represent a problem for me to use to kill the bastard I have bought time needed for the final combat and it s not like I could just conjure a gun and kill the brat"

"It's not like we have a detectopolymorpho spell to know who is a doppelganger"

"It's not like we're friggin wizards and can conjure forth some sort of oracle spirit,a bloody map,body armor or invisibility spells in public to avoid detection,furthermore,we should always carry our ID on in case we get busted by a party of comically underpowered fledgeling mooks"

"Why would i put a missile launcher,hi caliber guns,bombs,grenades,cars,flying vehicles,anti magic charms,magic items of power,vicious beasts,weapons.etc in my infinite bag of holding when I can just put a shameless self promotion book and my boyfriends and my best "friend"'s underwear (taken without their permission) and a crummy tent in it?

"Why shoudl we inmediately claim a reward for getting the big one when we can waste time asking a family of idiots to conjure a guy who will instantly materialize,whetherhe liek sit or not,if you jusrt spell his fucking name."

"Oh uh we have trouble summoning our dark master because we just can t pronounce his hilarious name and..oi! the prisioneres are escaping!

People in ancient england seem to be so retarded to the poin that death itself got so lazy it felt cheated when three guys decided to build a bridge to cross a river.
"Oh so you feel cheated because pedestrians are supposed to drown in the river? so if I m not a wizard and there is a physical barrier like a body of water,a precipice or a gaping hole impeding my arrival to the other side then i should march on blindly like a character from lemmings or a retarded frogger?"
« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 10:48:43 AM by El_Gostro »

Offline VentrueIan

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #108 on: April 10, 2011, 11:08:37 AM »
Maybe a few more, if they're from another planet, or locked in a mountain by a wizard.

Ahh... Highlander 2, the movie that shall be disavowed by any fan of the series for being the WORST crap ever, made only slightly less like getting punched in the face by the presence of Sean Connery.  Granted, his magic return made me want to slit my wrists.  Worse movie in a series, EVER.

I thought it was funny that every other highlander movie after II just pretended like that shit never happened. Not that the series as a whole had ANY sense of continuity.  The only consistency? Lots and lots of decapitations.  :cometome:
Be it though science, occult, or becoming a living ghost, if one can grasp immortality, I'll find out before the next life. Fuck reincarnation.

Offline Rick Gentle

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #109 on: April 10, 2011, 11:08:55 AM »
So finallyes wasables to almost fully watch a Harry POtter flick,when added assurance that a lot of people died in this adorable consolation trip for nerdie foureyes n sexually insecure school girls.
Are we talking about Hermione or Bella Swan?

And I'll tell you what, El Gostro... the movie you saw is the culmination of the entire series. It was supposed to be the BEST one.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 11:11:52 AM by Rick Gentle »
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Offline El_Gostro

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #110 on: April 11, 2011, 01:08:49 AM »
And I'll tell you what, El Gostro... the movie you saw is the culmination of the entire series. It was supposed to be the BEST one.


Eep... if in this universe I's ever gets stuck,will make sures I's stick to half witted barbarian fighter type primate,probably will have better survival rate than stickins with the higher ups of secret magic society

----------------------

MUST WATCHS cellulloid party times!

HARDWARE (also knowns as  MArk 13)



Unholy cybernetic bio mecanic turd,this be a must see !

Offline Rick Gentle

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #111 on: April 11, 2011, 01:31:31 AM »
Take out the U.S. flag and that could be a skull probe from Warhammer 40K.
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Offline PGM1961

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #112 on: April 11, 2011, 01:56:42 AM »
Hardware was good.  Scavenger boyfriend (who searches the wasteland for old war material to sell) brings home head of old war robot, and gives it to sculptor girlfriend to help with her work.  All in post-apocalyptic 'Mad Max'/Blade Runner-type world.  Cool stuff.
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Offline Saintly pants

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #113 on: April 11, 2011, 12:41:53 PM »
There are a whole lot of movies that are so bad they are good. But there is a certain sub faction among those that are so bad they are awesome. I think off "Commando" and "Rocky 4".

You can intentionally make a movie so bad it's good by studying your tropes well, but making it so bad it's awesome requires having al the pieces fall into place by some unlogical means that can never be named because it's impossible to describe.
Try to limit your damage.

Offline PGM1961

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #114 on: April 11, 2011, 02:30:36 PM »
Like Big Trouble in Little China.  Awesome.
An honorable man will still do the right thing, even when he knows there is no chance that he will be caught and punished for doing wrong... and even if it costs him dearly.

Offline Oscar

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #115 on: April 11, 2011, 02:38:40 PM »
I have been watching movies that by some reason haven't seen yet (that could be considered classics that averyone should see):

Taxi driver
Raging Bull

Both very good, but I preferred taxi driver. Im bit exchausted of the working day to put further comments.  :chinscratch:
Yea yea and shame on me.
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Offline Porphyria

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #116 on: April 11, 2011, 07:41:14 PM »
I watched Taxi Driver recently. I didn't "get" it.  Guy meets girl, girl dumps guy, guy goes on a killing spree over a hooker? Um ok.

Offline Malavis

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #117 on: April 11, 2011, 08:46:02 PM »

Offline Oscar

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #118 on: April 11, 2011, 08:55:45 PM »
I watched Taxi Driver recently. I didn't "get" it.  Guy meets girl, girl dumps guy, guy goes on a killing spree over a hooker? Um ok.

He was Vietnam vet who was disgusted with how the city was, but more like alienation from society leading to desperation, hatred and violent outburst. It wasn't so much for chivalry, but to direct the hatred and frustration to something and blowing off war trauma.
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Offline El_Gostro

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Re: Movie Reviews
« Reply #119 on: May 02, 2011, 04:44:21 AM »
People who say the Dr Strange movie sucked werent high and riding a magenta dragon tapir with mech wings